Let go of expectations, competition, and judgement

*sniff*  It's that time of year again... The grass has started growing, the leaves are unfolding, flowers are blooming, finals are coming up.  *Sniff* yup its that smell of spring fever with a slight edge of panic and stress. I have my first final on Tuesday and the others the following week.  School has kept me busy typing, researching, studying, and stressing for a few weeks now.  I have almost made it through my first year!  I'm so excited.  I've loved watching spring come out and seeing the beautiful weather.  While winter hasn't been bad this year, its nice to see the green appear.


Life has been so busy!  On Tuesday I got the chance to go with my OTA class to Evanston Wyoming.  Yes I know... Evenston isn't anything to get excited about.  We were given the chance to go to Mountain View Elementary and administer some screenings for the incoming kindergartners.  I left on Monday with two girls in my class and we rented a hotel and met up with some of my other classmates.  We had a BALL!  I don't think I've had a real girls night out since my mission.  We went out to eat, relaxed in the hot tub, and stayed up until one playing curses.  I've never played curses before.  What a game!  There are two types of cards.  One where you have to act out a certain scenario, like I got one where I had to arrest a friend, and another was you had to go around and take everyone's order. Crazy things.  Then there was a second card where it said you had to do something.  Examples:  Players had to speak in a french accent, start each saying with a proverb, repeat the last word of each phrase, talk into an imaginary CB radio, cry every time a bell rings, when someone claps someone else bows.  Before long you had everyone doing crazy things.  Lots of laughing.  I had fun.  This game put me waaayyy out of my comfort zone. But I'm glad I did it.


The kindergarten screening was fun.  We got to work with the kids and look for red flags that they might want to be screened for later.  I enjoyed looking for what these kids can do and looking for things that they might want to be checked out.  Then we met in a round-table and went through each kid and if there was anything to be aware of.  I'm glad we did it.  There wasn't as kids as I would have liked, but overall it was great.

On Wednesday I got an experience that totally put me out of my comfort zone. I did yoga for the first time.  Ever. A yoga instructor/COTA came in and explained what it was, how we can use it with our patients, and then we did a half hour session of yoga.  I've always considered myself to be super inflexible.  The idea of twisting myself into a pretzel was never appealing to me.  And if by the rare chance I got into pretzel mode, I'm pretty sure I'd be stuck there.  It can't be pretty.  Also its never seemed "me"  I know I'm being stereotypical (I'm changing that) but I always viewed it as kind of a hippy, herbal remedy, go green, natural medicine, tree hugger type of thing to do. (sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone).  Something I am not.  But what it really boils down to was it was something I didn't think I could do, and I really didn't want to embarrass myself by being the one person that could not do it.  But to my absolute shock, it wasn't so bad. I may have kind of liked it.  I kind of want to try it.  The best way would probably be to take a class.  I've looked at a few places in Utah County.  There is one that does appeal to me.  They at least seem low key. Its called Shanta Yoga. I do like that they aren't demanding that I attend two or three times a week or having their classes at 6:30 AM.  Will I ever get the courage to go?  Who knows we'll see.  I've also considered buying a DVD and seeing how that goes.

There were three things that the instructor said that really impressed me.  She told us during the yoga that there were three things we needed to do.  They were to: let go of expectations, let go of competition, let go of judgement.  I'm loving it!  These are probably three things that I need to the most.  Here is what her power point had to say.

• Letting go of expectations:  Too often in life we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others.  Be patient with yourself, go at your own pace and respect the process.


• Letting go of competition:  When you compare you are disappoints  Krishnaumurti. Comparisons make you feel either superior or inferior.  Neither is beneficial.


• Letting go of judgment:  Practice replacing judgment with compassion.  Most judgments are based on inadequate information.  Ask yourself how much you know about a person you have placed a judgment on.  Is it to make yourself feel better.

I do feel that these are things that really do bring me down.  I expect way too much of myself especially.  I expect myself to be at a certain level and when I don't reach that level I get down on myself.  I sometimes feel like I compare alot too.  I don't do things as well as so and so.  Also if I'm not getting constant good feedback I feel like people are disappointed in me or don't like me.  Judging I'm not sure on.  I don't feel like I judge others but I can always have more compassion.  Somehow I would like to make this another one of my motto's.  Its right there next to one I heard at the beginning of the school year.  "you have to do your best, and be happy with it".  Someday I will learn to completely love and accept myself.

Tomorrow will be fun!  My missionary trainer, Sister Parks is getting married tomorrow.  I'm so thrilled for her.  I'll be going up to Logan tomorrow to see her, and my family.  I've been a little bit homesick for Cache Valley, it will nice to be back for a short stay.  

All in all life is good.  School is winding down and summer looms ahead.  I'm ready for the break.  Hopefully we can have fun in there somewhere.

Quotes:

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” – Scott Hamilton
“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong


The next two weeks!