Let go of expectations, competition, and judgement

*sniff*  It's that time of year again... The grass has started growing, the leaves are unfolding, flowers are blooming, finals are coming up.  *Sniff* yup its that smell of spring fever with a slight edge of panic and stress. I have my first final on Tuesday and the others the following week.  School has kept me busy typing, researching, studying, and stressing for a few weeks now.  I have almost made it through my first year!  I'm so excited.  I've loved watching spring come out and seeing the beautiful weather.  While winter hasn't been bad this year, its nice to see the green appear.


Life has been so busy!  On Tuesday I got the chance to go with my OTA class to Evanston Wyoming.  Yes I know... Evenston isn't anything to get excited about.  We were given the chance to go to Mountain View Elementary and administer some screenings for the incoming kindergartners.  I left on Monday with two girls in my class and we rented a hotel and met up with some of my other classmates.  We had a BALL!  I don't think I've had a real girls night out since my mission.  We went out to eat, relaxed in the hot tub, and stayed up until one playing curses.  I've never played curses before.  What a game!  There are two types of cards.  One where you have to act out a certain scenario, like I got one where I had to arrest a friend, and another was you had to go around and take everyone's order. Crazy things.  Then there was a second card where it said you had to do something.  Examples:  Players had to speak in a french accent, start each saying with a proverb, repeat the last word of each phrase, talk into an imaginary CB radio, cry every time a bell rings, when someone claps someone else bows.  Before long you had everyone doing crazy things.  Lots of laughing.  I had fun.  This game put me waaayyy out of my comfort zone. But I'm glad I did it.


The kindergarten screening was fun.  We got to work with the kids and look for red flags that they might want to be screened for later.  I enjoyed looking for what these kids can do and looking for things that they might want to be checked out.  Then we met in a round-table and went through each kid and if there was anything to be aware of.  I'm glad we did it.  There wasn't as kids as I would have liked, but overall it was great.

On Wednesday I got an experience that totally put me out of my comfort zone. I did yoga for the first time.  Ever. A yoga instructor/COTA came in and explained what it was, how we can use it with our patients, and then we did a half hour session of yoga.  I've always considered myself to be super inflexible.  The idea of twisting myself into a pretzel was never appealing to me.  And if by the rare chance I got into pretzel mode, I'm pretty sure I'd be stuck there.  It can't be pretty.  Also its never seemed "me"  I know I'm being stereotypical (I'm changing that) but I always viewed it as kind of a hippy, herbal remedy, go green, natural medicine, tree hugger type of thing to do. (sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone).  Something I am not.  But what it really boils down to was it was something I didn't think I could do, and I really didn't want to embarrass myself by being the one person that could not do it.  But to my absolute shock, it wasn't so bad. I may have kind of liked it.  I kind of want to try it.  The best way would probably be to take a class.  I've looked at a few places in Utah County.  There is one that does appeal to me.  They at least seem low key. Its called Shanta Yoga. I do like that they aren't demanding that I attend two or three times a week or having their classes at 6:30 AM.  Will I ever get the courage to go?  Who knows we'll see.  I've also considered buying a DVD and seeing how that goes.

There were three things that the instructor said that really impressed me.  She told us during the yoga that there were three things we needed to do.  They were to: let go of expectations, let go of competition, let go of judgement.  I'm loving it!  These are probably three things that I need to the most.  Here is what her power point had to say.

• Letting go of expectations:  Too often in life we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others.  Be patient with yourself, go at your own pace and respect the process.


• Letting go of competition:  When you compare you are disappoints  Krishnaumurti. Comparisons make you feel either superior or inferior.  Neither is beneficial.


• Letting go of judgment:  Practice replacing judgment with compassion.  Most judgments are based on inadequate information.  Ask yourself how much you know about a person you have placed a judgment on.  Is it to make yourself feel better.

I do feel that these are things that really do bring me down.  I expect way too much of myself especially.  I expect myself to be at a certain level and when I don't reach that level I get down on myself.  I sometimes feel like I compare alot too.  I don't do things as well as so and so.  Also if I'm not getting constant good feedback I feel like people are disappointed in me or don't like me.  Judging I'm not sure on.  I don't feel like I judge others but I can always have more compassion.  Somehow I would like to make this another one of my motto's.  Its right there next to one I heard at the beginning of the school year.  "you have to do your best, and be happy with it".  Someday I will learn to completely love and accept myself.

Tomorrow will be fun!  My missionary trainer, Sister Parks is getting married tomorrow.  I'm so thrilled for her.  I'll be going up to Logan tomorrow to see her, and my family.  I've been a little bit homesick for Cache Valley, it will nice to be back for a short stay.  

All in all life is good.  School is winding down and summer looms ahead.  I'm ready for the break.  Hopefully we can have fun in there somewhere.

Quotes:

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” – Scott Hamilton
“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong


The next two weeks!

Puerto Rico and Small Events in My Life

Oh goodness!  Too long since I've blogged.  Time flies when you're having fun....or rather busy.  


First things first: Puerto Rico!  What a blast! Once again it seemed we weren't going to make it.  We got the the airport Sunday (March 18th) night and when we got to the gate, we found out our flight was delayed.  It was delayed long enough that we would miss our connecting flight.  I was like "oh no! not again!"  what does the airlines have against us going to Puerto Rico? Or is it a vendetta against me personally? But then...we had a small miracle.  At first the ladies at the counter were saying we'd have to come back in the morning and catch a flight. I didn't like that idea at all.  But then she got the idea to do something different and it turned out there was room for us on a flight to San Francisco and then onto Charlotte and San Juan.  The flight to San Francisco was leaving in five minutes. We just barely caught it.  So many hours and two flights later we made it to Puerto Rico!  We had a blast!  The area our hotel was at is beautiful!  We got to watch a beautiful sunset. After being vertical for the past 24+ hours, due to flying all night, I can't say how great it was to be horizontal on a bed.  In paradise.


The next day we took off to the west side of the island.  I had made Jeremy promise that he would take me to see a lighthouse.  So off we went to find one.  We stopped in a town called Ponce for a little bit and had pizza.  I discovered Puerto Ricans make really good pizza. YUM!  We also toured the old firestation there.  It was fun to see all the old tools the firemen used to use.  After lunch there we took off to Cabo Rojo and found the lighthouse by the coast.  We also discovered a beautiful little lagoon.  After hiking up to the lighthouse and looking around, we changed and went to play in the water.  I never knew water could be so warm!  I guess when you've only played in the Pacific Ocean (in Feb or March) and Bear Lake, you don't know what warm water is.  Jer and I had a ball.  I played in the water, and Jer played in the sand.  We stayed there for a few hours until it started raining and so we thought we'd better hike back to the car.  I was so sad to be leaving my new-found piece of heaven on earth.  I wish I could just box it up and take it home with me.  I think it'll fit in the backyard....

The next day was touring the rainforest.  El Yunque is the only rainforest in the United States.  There was so much green!  It brought back alot of memories for Jeremy and his days of hiking through the jungle in Brazil.  We saw a couple of waterfalls and this really cool observation tower built in 1600-something.  We went to the top and watched the rainclouds come in.  Then got rained on...again :-)  Never seen such large raindrops! It was really beautiful. I enjoyed the rainforest.  The rain made it difficult to go hiking but oh well...  We also had hoped to see the bioluminescent bays, but we found that everything was booked for the next week.  That was a disappointing.  

On our last day we toured Old San Juan.  We had lunch at a traditional (as traditional as a touristy spot gets)  Puerto Rican Resturant.  I tried Fried Cheese.  Jeremy would always tell me stories of vendors in Brazil selling cheese that they would roast over a fire.  He said it was a favorite of his. So when we found it on the menu, I thought we would give it a try.  I actually really liked it.  I was surprised!  I think next time we have a campfire we'll add cheese to the list of things to roast.  Right next to marshmallows and starburst. :)  We also toured two old forts that were built in the 1500-1600s that protected San Juan from invaders until the Americans conquered them in the early 1900s.  It was so fascinating all the work and strategy that went into building these forts.  Puerto Rico is the halfway point from Europe to the carribean/central America, and anybody needing to go there had to stop at Puerto Rico for supplies.  Spain held onto Puerto Rico to maintain their control of the Central and South American continent. These two forts helped Spain maintain its control for over three hundred year.  It was really fun to learn about.  We also went down to the gate that was the entrance to the the city.  We got rained out (again) so we didn't stay as long as we wanted.  We got to the point of being tired and soaked so we called it a day.  We did have a lot of fun.  Driving in Puerto Rico was another adventure!  Roads there are barely larger than a single lane is in the United States...and they are treated like two way streets!  There were some scary moments for us.  We were grateful we decided to pay insurance for the car!  It came awful close to coming in handy!  Then driving in Old San Juan was even tighter.  There were one way roads with room just big enough for us to pass through, next to the parked cars.  There was one point where we we found ourselves going down a super steep hill, there was a puddle at the bottom (who knows how deep) and a wall or a 100 degree turn.  Jeremy was driving...thankfully.  I covered my eyes and made sure I didn't have any last-minute repenting to do!  So scary!!!!!!  I was grateful when we found a parking spot.  I preferred walking.  Somewhat safer.  It required some tricky parallel parking, but Jer managed it. 

I had a first...I have now seen my first cockroach.  Not sure that's something to brag about...but its something.  Jeremy also had a first...he hit a chicken.  The poor thing was trying to cross the road and Jer didn't see it until we were almost on top of it.  Jeremy says it made it to the curb ok....but I'm not convinced. I heard a thud.  I think he's trying to make me feel better :-) My latest joke is "why did the chicken cross the road?  It didn't, Jeremy hit it."  Jer isn't as amused as I am :-D  

We went to the beach one last time before flying out.  And I got sun burnt.  I almost made it without getting fried.   It was nice to be heading home.  Puerto Rico was alot of fun.  Jer loved the fruits, some which he hadn't seen since Brazil. I enjoyed the greenery and beauty.  It was good to get away.  We made a deal that he wouldn't talk about work while in PR, and I wouldn't talk about school.  We managed it :)  

Here is the link for our Photos

Some have captions explaining (or poking fun) so just put your mouse over the pictures and it will show it.  Enjoy!

After my wonderful vacation, it was back to the grind.  I've been super busy with school.  Its finally starting to wind down.  Two and a half weeks of school...but I'm not counting down.  I've almost got all the major projects done, so all thats left is studying for finals.  

I had a special treat.  My Mission President hosted a reunion.  LOVED IT!  It was so refreshing to see President and Sister Pfile.  I missed them so much!  I also had a ball seeing Elders and Companions and dear friends.  Can't wait for the next one (hopefully in October)

I felt like there was so much to catch up on, but now that I'm writing it doesn't seem so.  Life just goes on.  Jer works, I go to school.  Jeremy is reading Children of the Promise Series.  We both just finished Unbroken.  Loved the book.  Its about Louie and his life as a POW in Japan in WWII.  Extremely well written.  I miss reading. I want to read Heaven is Here. Has anybody heard anything about it? I'm also looking for a summer job.  Sort of. I hate filling out applications.  Right now I have a crazy urge to find a job in a bookstore.  Any will do.  Does anybody know of any openings?

My brother got his mission call!  Congrats to him.  He will be serving in the Kentucky Louisville Mission.  

Jeremy will spoil me for my birthday. :-)  Tickets to Les Miserables I can't say how excited I am!

We also are discovering uses for self-rising flour.  I told Jer to grab a bag of flour.  He did, not realizing it was Self-rising flour.  So far we have made Biscuits and homemade pancakes. Both of which were met with success. I need more ideas!  There is 5 lbs to go through!

Well I can't think of anything else that's going on... back to the grind!